Dear Gemma, Been thinking a lot about your family regularly. And I only found out about your father‘s passing. He was a very very sweet man to me. Just feel compelled to communicate why Carole is still so relevant to me. It was because of our commonality with the epilepsy- it ran so deep. And like you, I have days of uncontrollable tears normally sparked by certain music or sad films. Ian Curtis who is the lead singer of Joy Division had severe epilepsy and Carole and I loved the band. Atmospheres was probably the best song ever to us. We also loved the sisters of Mercy by Leonard Cohen and satellite of love by Lou Reed-all sweet songs. you’re very brave woman and I know your family will mean so much more to you! I wasn’t with Carole for those last months but in hindsight I’m so glad she took off and had those experiences and saw things and did things; just wish she’d had time to look back at them. Also had taken more photographs. I don’t know why I’m telling you this because you know it already she was a very spiky sometimes but that was to protect her very sensitive inside. She was a very funny eccentric girl with a big smile for everybody always. I miss her so much every day and though I’ve met people since, nobody has come close to your sister. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Perhaps there’s been a little bit more acceptance. I wish you and your mum, your little ones and Dan all my very kind Best wishes. I just had some Saturday morning thoughts whilst the radio was on and felt compelled to communicate to you. Ben x.

Silk Wings. I unpinned a butterfly, cupped her in my hands, and nurtured her, till she could then fly, with silk patterned wings, Sun streams through coloured gemstones. Tears on silk bleeds Indian dye, thrown at festivals, thrown instead of soil, seeps and stains her skin, two silk coloured wings, Abstract paintings by Miro. Chorus:- Her determination to find where she belonged, new experiences and adventures-friends she'd found, She loved the Asian lifestyle, It spoke to her deep down, travelling through these countries, that's where she felt truly free. Souvenirs that you unfold, each one tells a tale, never to be told, ever journeying, with silk coloured wings Prints where she has pressed rainbows. Chorus:- She flew past green country, fields of crops, vast cities, valleys, highest mountains, deserts, jungle, to warm seas, she loved the Asian lifestyle, it spoke to her deep down, travelling through these countries, that's where she felt truly free. For the family Ben.

Thinking of you all today. She was the sweetest person I’ve known. I have so much to say and wanted to share over the last six years. She said she could be herself truly with me. I saw that daily. That’s how I got to see the daughter and sister you loved! Merry Xmas! Ben x.